I will put funny quotes here

Most of these are taken out of context, or the person just made a mouthagraphical error, but its fun to make fun of them anyway. Hell, some of em are just things people have said that I want to remember for whatever reason. They are are what people have truly said. If you have one you think should be here, tell me and I will probably add it.

Rebbeca: It's so strange, Im only attracted to guys that are assholes and treat me like shit.
Adam: And yet you are a vehement feminist.
Rebbeca: Haha, yeah
Adam: You are why I hate girls
Rebbeca: Ouch
Adam: But true
Rebbeca: Yup

Oh wait! Let me come and be sexy with you!
-Stephanie

I went swimming with Katie and Derek, which was basically sitting in the water and watching them make out in the pool.
-Rebecca

Sergio: Why'd you try and run me over in the parking lot?
Adam: I didnt try to run you over, If I had tried, you would have been hit.

Im not dyin' too well here.
-Jimmy

I am such a higher level than you in real life.
-Adam

Adam: I hungy. Cook for me woman!
Laura: NEVER!!
Adam: dont you take that tone with me!
Laura: muahaha
Adam: You laugh, but if you stop cooking I'll withold sex!
Laura: deal
Adam: crap.

They have no idea where I am, no really, I could be dead.
-Zach

Adam: He hit me!
Adam: Ugh
Adam: Wanna kiss it make it better?
Tiffany: aww
Tiffany: *kiss*
Tiffany: (what did i just kiss? LoL)
Adam: thanks, he knee'd me in the nuts
Tiffany: LOL

I'd believe her if it was a vibrator... but it's a piece of armor.
-Zach

Everytime I eat one it's like eating a little bit of Kendra.
-Adam

Im big AND fat
-Jimmy

I love you, but i'm too tired to come
-Rebecca

Me: Do you want to go back to my place, sleep together, and then never speak again? I do.
Her: LoL
Her: get rid of the never speak again
Her: and yes
-Adam and Tiffany

The campus police are so stupid: They're trying to give a ticket to a car, but it's taking four policemen.
-Zach

28 days has November, except... except when.. except... ah fuck it.
-Zach

If we go sit on the couch... we'll go sit on the couch.
-Leah

That's becuase I tightened my ribs.
-Leah

Admittedly it made me feel a slight bit like a bad ass.
Just a bitty bit
(and yes I realize a miniscule gash from a tickle fight with a girl isnt exactly the most bad-ass thing in the world, but I dont feel that way often, so work with me)
-Adam

Guys scare me becuase they have penises.
-Zach

I wouldnt go to Borders if they didnt have porn.
-Zach

Even a knife could be a Weapon of Mass Destruction if you kill enough people with it.
-Middle College Idiot

C'mon Adam! I hear all these stories about people in your bed, now it's my turn!
-Jimmy

If there's a fire, we have to have some way of notifying you... besides email.
-Marlene

Arielle: That's why the drinking age is 18.
Adam: It's 21.
Arielle: Whatever.

Kevin: "I want a big car, 'cause I'm a big star.. I'll make a big, rock and roll hit.."
Kevin: but of course since it's Manson, and he uses lots of distortion
Kevin: I thought he said "I have a big cock, cause I'm a big star..."
Me: probably loving teh penis helped that mistake too
Kevin: :P

If we go for the big balls it will be easy to whack this off.
-Bill

if we get close you better not be hard or I am going to wack you
-Steven

uhhh adam dude you are a cool guy and kendra must think you are great and all ;-) but you know my one true love.... it is jimmy
-Steven

you have better taste in clothing then joseph
-Steven

You don't need to screw now, this is robotics, over the next six weeks there's gonna be a whole lot of screwing going on. By the end of this you'll be sick and tired of screwing.
-Stephanie (Thanks Lucinda!)

Razzack2002k (17.44.21): Muslims are not narrow minded
Razzack2002k (17.44.29): Islam is complete and universal
-Shafi
(Personal Note: I have always wanted a Shafi quote. A big Thanks to Kevin!!!)

if you had more quotes
i'd enjoy it better than bash.[org/cx]
-Kevin

You just dont do that! You never know who's gonna want to stick their biscuit there.
-Jimmy

This is boring, so it's Adam's.
-Mom

Well I'd make out with you too.
-Melinda

Caity made me swear off girls
-Zach's Friend

I want Penis.
-Zach

I just got a box up my ass.
-Zach

I wish your sister was hot.
-Zach

Me: This makes me sound like an idiot.
Mom: You are an idiot

--Whoa, what would you do at a college without girls?
--Learn?
-Me and Jonathan

Judaism is like a REALLY BIG inside joke.
-Adam

Zach: but damn the sex would be good
Me: lol, you're so dumb, kiss a girl before you start thinking about sex
Zach: i dont expect to kiss her
Zach: so
Zach: why not think all the way to the finish line?
Me: ...
Me: because first you have to put your shoes on
-Zach and Me

im too smart to flirt. thats my explanation and im sticking to it!
-Zach

ZachLGRRR: so what you doing tonight
MaFishes42: im off to a play with Leah
ZachLGRRR: ...
ZachLGRRR: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
MaFishes42: por qua?
ZachLGRRR: *gasp*
ZachLGRRR: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ZachLGRRR: you are leaving me wahh
MaFishes42: haha
MaFishes42: leaving you? I was never with you! i was just using you for your tight ass!
ZachLGRRR: :'( i'm gonna go jump off a bridge
-Zach and me

I love all your cars!
-Jessa

You dont even have conversations anymore. You just talk to people to get content for your quotes page!
-Rebecca

Me: Oh, and some chick at my school can go onto your list of people who want to fuck you.
Kevin: oh, neat
Kevin: catnip strikes again
-Me and Kevin (Duh)

we want to violate you're "straightness" cause of your blue eyes.
-Kevin

Dammit, everything you have is cool!
-Joseph

someaveragemoron (2:53:09 PM): dude your awesome
someaveragemoron (2:53:20 PM): im amazed your not like married
-Car

I like intellegent girls... as long as they're hot.
-Rebecca

You do things the Adam way... which means the way you do things is inherently fucked up.
-Rebecca

I loved when you played [football], I was sad when you quit.
-Mom

Wow! That was a powershift... even I can't do it that fast. Now, if you could just get that first to second down...
-Dad

There's this mentally disabled kid at my school. He has an obsession with wheels... or things that turn. So he had a regular backpack that he used to forget in class, so they had to give him a rolling backpack so he'd remember it.
-Arielle

You owe me head
-Zach

Your quotes page is just going to degenerate into 'things steven says that make him sound gay'
-Steven

(Reading Fortune Cookie) Time heals all wounds. Keep your chin up.
Do you have any wounds?
I think I'm just picking at scabs.
-Me and Mom

Maybe Chin is a Euphamism
-Dad

These shoes totally clash with my outfit.
-Joseph

Anal sex.
Thats the way I like it!
-Adam and Steven

Wow Adam, you really dont care about all that macho stuff, you just do what you want.
-Marlene (Mom)

KENDRA IS ON SO YOU BETTER GET ON
-Steven

It's not the place, its the location.
-Jimmy

well, I have to go dream about you now, so I'll talk to you later, ok
-Kendra

Can we please talk about someone else's life?
-Adam

Adam, you are a FREAK.
-Rebecca

--Well, if they figure out how to do boob transplants, you can have half of mine Car!
--Mine too!
-Rebecca And Melinda

Adam, you're hot, but there is no way in hell I'm going to kiss you.
-Steven

Dude, stop talking about [Kendra] or I'm going to hit you in the face.
-Jimmy

Smell it Smell it!
-Jonathan's Mom (By request of Jonathan)

I usually hate little rich bitches, but you're ok.
-Rebecca

I've been in your house for half an hour and I'm already obsessed with it.
-Jimmy

I'm afraid you're not going to be good enough for any girl, even though I love you.
-Marlene (Mom)

You're made of cute.
-Caity

You've gotta be lying. You must get girls all the time.
-Caity

Oh oh oh, you're still alive? My mistake.
-Melinda

This gangster is rated 'F' for fuck you.
-Moron in middle college (James)

Fuck me... In the ass... With a stick.
-Melinda

If those guys wanna grab any ass, it should be me.
-Steven

The navy uniforms are so pretty... I wanna join just to wear them.
-Isabelle

youre a goofball... But you're a cute goofball.
-Car

wow. You have like everything electronical.
-Car

The1stSoildSnack (6:34:05 PM): I just want an eduation...
-Arthur

You remind me of my mom.
-Jill

you're just trying to get into my pants aren't you? subtle little bastard you
-Kevin

well, I guess you are the adam, so do as the adam does
-Danny

Adam to Car: Hey there hot stuff
Car: *Blank stare*
Melinda to Car: Dont worry, he said it to me too.

Dont worry, Adam is straight as an arrow... that's been warped a little.
-Steven

Seen being written in a notebook in the hands of a fat girl in front of me under the heading of "things I love":
men with big members
-Ugly fat girl in front of me in line

You're odd like a duck.
-Jonathan

You can be creepy sometimes.
-Car

Sister: We need to give Legolas a Kippa
Me: Elves arent Jewish
Sister: This one is!
-Sister and Me

I'm impressed by how smart you are.
-Marlene (Thanks mom)

she's really cute
I can't stop looking at her
I think I would have a crush on her
-Alli (talking about Car)

ur like a ladies man
-Hugo

Socks are very expressive.
-Melinda

You guys are nothing without Adam.
-Jessica

MaFishes42 (10:02:01 PM): becuase I think you've gone insane
Dfr3ak (10:03:12 PM): yea
Dfr3ak (10:03:20 PM): insanely in love with adam
-Jessica

I hope this is my house.
-Zach

Fuck disney. Fuck disney in the ass with a bat.
-Torak

Arielle: just ignore him, he's not your problem, he's mine. And I'll kill him.
-Marlene (Mom)

Did you see Liv Tyler's new advertisement?
-Woman sitting next to sister on plane

I'm arguing with my blinds.
-Alex

"You're a bitch. I expect to hear about your suicide bombing a wastewater cleaning facility in the near future.
- A friend of Adam"
-A rough draft of an email to Najia by Zach

i think you should make a world famous award winning documentary on your love life, or a book about young dating, for adults to read
-Zach

Your hair isnt green enough! I thought you were going to dye it yesterday.
-Ron (My dad)

ok ima go pray for your mega sex0ring by angelina jolie
-Zach

whats important in life? FUN FUN FUN SEX SEX SEX ....Life is short, so fuck it....and everyone else! (thats hot)
-Zach

I wonder if there will be any geeks in my math class... probably becuase it's a geometry... *long pause* I wonder if I'll be the geek.
-Arielle

How do you bring up the task manager [in windows XP]?
CTRL ALT DLT
lmao Im not that dense
-Arthur and Me

I like your bed becuase it's such a struggle to get on it.
-Alex

Did you know Orlando Bloom has a girlfriend? I bet a lot of girls want to kill her... whore.
-Arielle (My Sister)

You're wearing a robe? That's so fruity.
-Zach

I'd like to get good at giving head.
-Lisa

You're so brilliant!
-Alex

Im going to go on your quote page? Im so excited!
-Alex

Just becuase you're illeterate doesn't mean you can't read.
-Arielle

ive always LOved the COCk
-Jessica

If you have a wild party: I want to be invited.
-Marlene (I'll keep that in mind mom)

Thats a whole lot of sex in your hand.
-Nuria

Does air have mass?
-Nelson

I cant wish bad things upon you, because I dont want them to happen to you.
-Arthur

I could probably throw her up in the air with my ass.
-Michelle

I dont want to be your sister anymore!
-Shazma

Dig a hole.
-Signore (After being asked what to do with an injured soccer player)

(Going over math homework) This next problem... well, I dont know how they expected you to solve this problem!!! *Bursts out laughing*
-Mr. Anhorn

Nobody can write a good essay on the first try, unless you work for the New York Times and can just make things up.
-Signore

Yes... I understand Adam has his own little subversive website.
-Signore

Ladies... May the world go with you.
-Novotny

In the muscle way, or in the figurative way?
-Natalia

The second time he met Victor, he was able... he was able... he was able.... to complete a sentence.
-Junaid

You know... If you were sucking my penis right now we wouldn't have to be talking.
-Adam

Yeah, Im really jacked.
-Periera

We want to play co-ed... but we still want to win.
-Signore

they are going to yosemite and the grand canyons.
-Asian lady behind me in line

I filled your car up with gas... just the tank.
-Marlene

I want to rule rm. 47.
-Signore

You guys function so dysfunctionally!
-Mrs. Periera

Oh... Nothing. I just like yelling "Adam!" every once and a while to see what you'll do.
-Ms. K

Do what you know i mean. I dont want to be specific.
-The Vot

Intent is 9/10s of the law.
-The Vot

"Where did they get the Africans from?" "Af. Ri. Ca."
-Natalia and Periera

The matrix has now been reloaded.
-The Vot

Hey, the penis... Err, I mean popcorn is done.
-Zach

Ill get it from his mom.
-Zach

I don't care. Male? Female? It's all good.
-Zach

a five hundered dollar hug? Shes expensive. I wouldnt wanna see the payment plan for a handjob
-Adam

Internet Explorer
-Allison After being asked what operating system she uses.

That's so going on the quotes list!!!
-Arthur (I don't remember what he said before this. It wasn't quote worthy, but this was!)

You guys are really annoying, can you put that on the quotes page please?
-Mrs. Periera

I love Shafi. I have a lot of respect for him.
-Mrs. Periera

I thought you lived on a farm or something.
-Adam (to Ms. K)

Lets get busy Kevin
-Mr. Novotny

That didn't work horribly well.
-Kevin

Every time you are about to buy yourself something think to yourself: How is this going to help me get head?
-Adam

We're pathetic fucks.
-Zach

Unfettered optimism is the only way to accomplish anything. The greatest people in history werent always the smartest, or the best looking, or the most devious. They were the most persistant.
-Adam OK, so this is a serious one, sue me.

the one thing about sex that dose bother me is that what happens if your ass isn't clean or worse theirs that would really ruin the mood
-Steven

and then I told her it would have to be a wearhouse, becuase you make crap at a crap factory.
-Graham

Thats recockulous!
-Zach

i deserve to be castrated
-Hugo

Shoot that shafi guy. I dont like his face.
-Novotny

"I dont get it!" "Yeah you do!"
-My math teacher and a student

Just twist on of the nuts.
-Signoire

There should be a radio station: 106.9. It should be talk radio, that way thier byline could be: "Channel ten sixty nine, where everyone is satisfied orally."
-Adam

A TV gives of more radiations then a microwave.
-Melanie

I may be a pervert, But even i have standards...........
-Ajay

You are older then me and you always will be!
-Angie

You know why I dont dance? Im white.
-Hugo

Before I had a reason to go out with her, now I have a reason to want to fuck her brains out! (He saw a linux sticker on her car window)
-Zach

They are both and the same, wait no! I meant one and the same... Dammit! Thats gonna go into the quotes.
-Hugo

I wish i was semi-cosmic all powerful. That way i could just make my bed and sleep.
-Arthur

"Dude, Ive seen plenty of girls naked!" "Whose nameas dont end in jpeg?"
-Brett and Adam

Dude, that girl gaves me a hard on when she smiles.
-Adam

Dude, Im a Jew, you're not getting [your quarter] back.
-Adam

Which makes you wonder, where the hell do those sugar packets come from? Is it the same place as the ketchup? I think this is a small food packaging conspiracy!
-Adam

"I should kill them all... maybe I will!" (Talking about his family)
-Zach

If you're going to college, there are still some games we need to teach you!
-Marlene (mom)

I think they screwed up, they didn't put a waldo in this one.
-Hugo

Spam is like sperm! Only one gets through! And your box, is like, the ovaries or whatever.
-Hugo

(To my mom) I think I have spoiled you with my having a car and driving.
-Adam

The first time I saw optimus prime transfrom, that was pretty magical.
-Zuhair

How many quotes have you?
-Steve-O

Take your hood off! How do I know you're not a terrorist?
-Signoire

Dude, you could give yourself much better head then a girl ever could.
-Adam

I could run away to the Canadian Hills if i wanted to.
-Zuhair

Some peple cout before they think(point; evidence; logic)
-Adam

so our shcool had to make a free-speech area
-Kendra

Fuck em!
-Mrs. Periera

They gave them eight fifths of their land
-Natalia

We will buy you money
-Natalia

Hey, maybe thats the same one! Oh wait no, we killed him and shoved him in an electrical socket.
-Zac

You know whats wierd? I have hairs up the entire length of my penis. Just little ones, kinda here and there.
-Zac

My wife tags up the bathroom at home.
-Mr. Rose

I dont know, I never felt the compunction.
-Zac

Yes, these shoes have a soul.
-Adam

Those are commie mints!!!
-Adam

Masturbation is so cool man, its like, Man's greatest invention.
-Zac

Lets go down in a flame of glory.
-Novotny